Goofus fiddles his site traffic.
"Bogus data is worthless."
"Only those who support me will get favors from me!"
Gallant tries to help others.
"If I don't have followers, I'll create my own!"
Gallant has outgrown imaginary friends.
"It's not what you know, it's who you know!"
"Connections can't substitute for hard work."
"I had two million page views last month."
"Server numbers can be confusing, so I always check with experts."
"Never mind about errors in my book! Not everyone gets to be a webcomic artist!"
I enjoy creating comics whether I get paid or not.
"That writer keeps finding errors I thought no one would notice! So I banned him from my site!"
Gallant learns from his mistakes.
"Cut and paste, lowbrow gags, quickie art -- the rubes won't know the difference!"
Gallant studies the masters.
"The heat is on and we need a distraction. Throw a party. Only invite *my* people."
"I enjoy my work. I don't need to escape from it."
Goofus can't be bothered with email.
Gallant enjoys hearing from readers.
"Facts, schmacts. People believe whatever I tell 'em."
"When you betray people they stop trusting you."
This is, of course, parody.
Art and characters used with warm memories and affection for Highlights for Children.
Thanks to my dad for buying it for me every month when I was a tyke.